Imagine dealing with a breakup while sharing a home and daily routines, and potentially co-parenting with your ex-partner in the same space. While this scenario may not suit everyone, being separated under one roof is a reality for many Australians.
For some, living in the same house is a great way to gradually readjust to life after separation; for others, it may be a necessity. This arrangement may be made based on financial constraints or considerations, meeting the needs of shared children, or simply because it’s not practical for either party to move out immediately.
It’s not a new scenario. Many couples in past eras chose to live together well past the end of a romantic relationship, but separating under one roof has risen in popularity in Australia in recent years.
This has been attributed to a rise in the cost of living, the financial pressures of maintaining two separate households, a nationwide housing crisis, a period of high inflation and more flexible approaches to cohabitation after divorce and separation, especially when children are involved. In this article, we’ll look at the practical, legal and emotional aspects of separation under one roof.
What does ‘separated under one roof’ mean?
Put simply, separation under one roof occurs when a couple breaks up but continues to live in the same home together. While it’s not an arrangement everyone could manage, there are many reasons why a couple may decide to continue living together even after a divorce or de facto partnership has ended.
Some people choose to do this temporarily while re-establishing their own lives. Others may embrace it long term to avoid the duplicated costs of maintaining two homes. It can remove a lot of financial pressure and the stress of one or both parties packing and moving.
It’s a personal choice. While it doesn’t seem like anyone outside of the relationship’s business, it can be a factor that impacts many areas related to family and relationship law, which we’ll look at in more detail.
‘Separation under one roof is when a married or de facto couple has separated but continues living together in the same household. Section 49 of The Family Law Act 1975 recognises that a separation (after a marriage ending) can occur, even when parties remain living together.’
What are the main reasons couples may live together after their relationship?
Many couples go through a relationship ending and are faced with the practicalities of moving forward with their own lives after a breakup. While sharing a home with someone after a significant relationship ending may not be for everyone, living separated under one roof can offer many benefits if approached properly.
Common reasons for being separated under one roof include:
- Having children together and not wanting to create stress or disrupt the family home space that you’ve created
- Financial reasons, as in most cases the pressure of maintaining two households, can have a significant impact
- Either party is not feeling ready to leave the family home and needs time to recalibrate before starting over
- Unsure about how to move forward with parenting arrangements or property settlement
- Deciding it’s easier to live together as ‘roommates’ than living alone or with anyone else
- Maintaining familiarity and routines, especially when younger children are involved
- Having a healthy and mature relationship and being able to share a space with good boundaries in place
What does separation under one roof look like?
This arrangement can be as unique as any family or partnership.
For example, Amber and Luke are in their late thirties and have been together since leaving school. They had a ten-year financial plan they were working towards achieving but decided to amicably split seven years in.
They realised that maintaining a second household would significantly affect their financial plan, so they agreed to live together and reassess annually. They have gotten back together a few times after breaking up, but they are sure it’s over.
Sam and Amari have one child with high needs due to medical conditions. The reality of co-parenting without support, and the current time and financial commitments they have with their daughter’s care would make living apart practically difficult, so they are choosing to continue living in the same home, in separate rooms.
They decide to do this for as long as possible – or until both feel comfortable moving forward.
Almost retired, Paul and Kerry have a large home together, and often travel for work and to see family. Neither wants to leave, and neither wants to sell. They decide to continue sharing a home permanently and reconsider only if either decides to re-partner.
As you can see, there are many reasons that people find themselves in this situation, and some choose it to provide a level of financial stability that would be much more challenging living apart. It’s estimated that a divorce or separation can take 3-11 years to recover from financially, and some of this is avoided with this type of arrangement.
If you’re living separately under one roof, our family law team can provide the support you need. We understand that this situation can be tricky, so we’re here to help with the legal aspects. From sorting out property and financial matters to giving advice on child custody and support, we’ll make sure your rights are protected. Our experienced lawyers can help you formalise your separation, create clear agreements, and reduce conflict with your ex-partner.
We can also assist with co-parenting arrangements and any other challenges you may face. Whether you need help with legal paperwork or just want advice on the next steps, we’re here to make the process as smooth and fair as possible for you and your family.
Legal & practical considerations of being separated under one roof
When separated but living under one roof, there are both legal and practical considerations to navigate. While this arrangement can help minimise disruption, it can also present challenges when it comes to finances, living arrangements, and parenting responsibilities.
Understanding the legal implications, such as property division, child support, and custody arrangements, is essential to ensure that both parties are clear on their rights and responsibilities. Addressing these practical and legal issues with the right support can help make the separation process smoother and reduce potential conflicts.
Whatever your situation, it’s important to understand that being separated under one roof can create a few extra hoops to jump through in terms of paperwork for divorce, property settlement and parenting matters. There may also be other tax and financial aspects to consider.
Separated under one roof – important legal and financial considerations
If you’ve decided to continue living together during or after a breakup, there are some guidelines to keep in mind. If you are married and want a divorce, or to finalise property settlement, the courts will need to know the date you separated, living together or not. You are not expected to live as new roommates, as there is a significant history of intimacy here.
However, you must show that your relationship is not the same as it used to be and that there is no ongoing relationship. Guidelines exist to ensure people are doing the right thing, and not attempting to get any benefits from Centrelink by pretending to break up while living together.
The family court has a framework for time limits around relationship breakups and financial settlement; hence, there are some ‘rules’ to consider. Not every guideline will apply to you, and each family is different. Some couples live closer lives after separation than others at the heights of their marriage or relationship, so it comes down to the intent.
Let’s look at some of the areas where you may need to provide more information about your living and relationship status.
Considering living separated under one roof? Make sure you give some thought to the following.
Being separated under one roof can affect a number of financial and legal matters, and it’s important to address them correctly if you are going to continue living with your former partner. The following areas will all need to be addressed a little differently if you and your ex-spouse or partner are still sharing a home.
- Divorce
- Married or de facto property settlement
- Parenting matters
- Child support
- Immigration
- Taxation status
- Centrelink eligibility
- Health and life insurance policies
- Estate planning, advance care directives and wills
In many of these matters, you’ll need to show, or even prove, that you are separated but living together. It’s worth getting advice from a family law specialist, as well as estate lawyers or financial planners if necessary.
Showing genuine separation while living together for family law purposes
To demonstrate separation for family law purposes, couples must show that they have lived separately and apart for at least 12 months. This can be achieved by providing evidence of separate living arrangements, including separate bedrooms, bank accounts, and a written statement outlining the separation.
Services Australia’s Separated Under One Roof Form (SS293) can provide evidence of separation under one roof, but it’s essential to seek legal advice to ensure the form is completed correctly.
Why do we need to provide proof that we are separated?
In Australia, living together after separation is more common than most people think, and the courts understand this. The courts and Services Australia use guidelines to differentiate genuine separation under one roof, to ensure that your relationship status is clear.
Your relationship status can affect a number of financial and legal matters, such as family law matters, any Family Tax or Centrelink payments received, child support assessments, immigration matters, health insurance and your taxation status.
Australian family law processes require a married or de facto couple to have an official separation date (even if living together) for a number of reasons, including:
- If you are married and want a legal divorce, you will usually need to show the courts a date of separation 12 months before your divorce.
- Due to family law time limits, property settlement must start within 12 months of finalising your divorce.
- If you were in a de facto relationship and needed to finalise property matters, you must begin within two years of your date of separation.
- Services Australia will require a date of separation for child support assessments and to ensure the correct rates of payments are made for Family Tax Benefit Part A & B or any income support payments received by either party.
- You must ensure that both parties are taxed and, if applicable, pay health insurance premiums correctly aligned with their income, age, and relationship status.
- Any spousal or dependent tax benefits need to be aligned with each party’s correct relationship status.
How is ‘separation under one roof’ assessed legally?
The courts and government agencies assess several criteria to decide if a former couple who is still residing together is separated.
Several factors assess whether you are separated but still living together. Every situation will be unique, but the general criteria is being able to show that you are no longer:
- In a sexual relationship with your ex-partner
- Sharing a bedroom
- Living life as a couple
- Helping each other financially
- In the same ‘roles’ that you were in before your separation
Obviously, there may be some crossover in some cases, such as when you are still co-parenting together or have agreed to organise child support payments privately.
How do you live separate lives under the same roof?
Here are some other ways to show that you are living separately in the same residence.
- A clear intention to separate is shown when one or both parties genuinely intend to end the relationship, even if they are still living together.
- Communication of separation is ideally given to the other party, though mutual agreement isn’t legally required.
- Separate living arrangements, like different bedrooms and meals, help validate a separation claim.
- Financial independence is demonstrated by keeping separate finances and covering personal expenses individually.
- Public recognition involves informing family, friends, and social circles to establish the separation as genuine.
- Legal documentation updates, such as changing wills or insurance and notifying institutions, support proof of separation.
- Court affidavits may be required from both parties, detailing their separation arrangements.
- Witness statements (a witness affidavit) from friends or a family member can confirm the separation, especially if disputed.
- Parenting arrangements, if children are involved, should document co-parenting routines and assess child support.
These factors are key to legally proving separation under one roof for de facto or divorce proceedings.
How can you prove that you are separated while living together?
If you are in this situation and must show that you are genuinely separated under one roof, you can demonstrate to the court that the relationship is over by a number of things listed in the last section, a few of which we’ll expand on here. In many cases, this won’t be necessary, but these are the most straightforward options to do so if required.
Write an affidavit
An affidavit is a written statement that someone makes under oath or affirmation. It’s like giving testimony in court but on paper. The person who writes it, the affiant, swears that everything in the affidavit is true to their knowledge.
Affidavits are often used in legal situations to provide facts or evidence without the person having to be physically present in court.
For example, if a couple is separating but still living together, each partner might write an affidavit explaining their living arrangements, such as sleeping separately, doing their own shopping or managing finances as a single person would, to help prove they are no longer a couple. You can make an affidavit in Australia in front of a:
- A Justice of the Peace (JP)
- A lawyer
- A court registrar
- A notary public
When writing an affidavit, be honest, clear, and concise. Include specific details, dates, and events related to your separation. Seek legal advice to ensure your affidavit meets the court’s requirements.
How do I prove separation under one roof to Centrelink?
To prove that you and your ex-partner are living separately under the same roof, you can use a Services Australia ‘separated under one roof’ form (SS293). This form is used to inform Centrelink that you are living separately with your ex-partner for payment or child support purposes.
In most cases, you and your former partner will need to provide a copy of this form unless doing so would cause risk to either party, such as when domestic or family violence is a factor. They may ask you to provide additional information if there is any doubt regarding your living arrangements, or if one party provides different information to the other.
If you need assistance informing Centrelink or your relationship status, or providing documentation or proof of separation, please get in touch with our team.
Managing family law matters while separated under one roof
Negotiating a family law matter with your ex-partner can be emotional and stressful, even in an amicable split. This can be more difficult if you are still living together, as you may not have the space for personal reflection or time away from your ex-partner during a disagreement.
If you are attending mediation or Family Dispute Resolution during this time or applying for a divorce, you will need to provide information about your separation date and your decision to live separately under one roof.
You may need to consider having interim orders made if parenting and financial matters are likely to change soon or if you and your former partner have decided to live together for a shorter, set period. Interim orders can provide a legal framework for parenting and financial matters until a permanent, long-term arrangement is decided on.
Interim orders can cover the following:
- Parenting arrangements, such as how care and decision making is shared,
- Financial agreements, such as who is paying for rent or mortgage, debts, and if spousal maintenance or child support is being paid
Some former couples can establish these agreements privately through an informal parenting plan or agreement. Others may prefer to work with a divorce lawyer and have the parenting or financial aspects of the relationship formally settled through a Federal Circuit Court application for consent orders.
If the situation is likely to change over a set period of time, it’s worth considering an agreement that works in the short term and is also more suitable for long-term arrangements.
How long can you live separated under the same roof?
This is a completely personal decision and there are no laws around this to prevent you from making a decision that’s best for you and your family. It can be anything from a short-term arrangement until you both are in a better position to move forward to a long-term – even permanent, arrangement. As long as both parties find the arrangement working, there is no legal reason to stop you from living with your ex-partner.
Parenting arrangements while living separated under one roof
Managing parenting arrangements while living under one roof can be challenging but necessary for the well-being of everyone. Parents must establish clear boundaries and agree on how to handle childcare arrangements, household chores, and family outings. These arrangements can be formalised in a parenting plan, which outlines each parent’s responsibilities and the agreed-upon living spaces within the home.
Parenting schedules such as nesting
Nesting, or “bird’s nest parenting,” is a custody arrangement in which children remain in the family home while parents take turns living there based on a shared schedule. This approach aims to minimise disruption by keeping children in a familiar environment, helping them adjust to changes in family dynamics more smoothly.
While beneficial for stability, nesting requires a high level of cooperation. Parents need to agree on responsibilities, household maintenance, and finances. It’s often a temporary solution during the early stages of separation but can be sustained longer if both parents are committed to its structure.
Financial arrangements during separation under one roof
When living separately under one roof, managing finances can become complex. It’s crucial to seek legal advice to ensure a fair division of assets and clarify each party’s financial obligations. Consider closing joint bank accounts and setting up separate bank accounts to maintain financial independence, dividing any shared debts, and creating a new budget that reflects your individual needs.
Clear agreements should also be made regarding who will pay for household expenses, bills, and any costs related to children. If you have joint financial responsibilities, such as tax partner status, shared ownership of assets, or beneficiary status in superannuation or wills, these must be addressed.
Having a clear plan in place for each of these areas will help reduce confusion and minimise potential conflict. Early legal advice can help ensure that all matters are handled properly, in line with the Australian Family Law Act, which provides guidelines for property settlement and spousal maintenance.
Divorce while separated under one roof
Yes, you can separate and file for divorce while sharing a home with your ex-partner, but you’ll need to follow the general divorce guidelines in Australia. You can file a sole application or a joint application, but you will need to ensure the courts are aware of your living arrangements.
This includes meeting residency and citizenship requirements, being sure that it’s over (no-fault divorce exists in Australia) and showing that you’ve lived ‘separately and apart’ for at least 12 months. This can be more complicated to show when you are living in the same home.
So, how do you show the courts it’s officially over? You’ll need to write an affidavit to go along with your divorce application. An affidavit is a written statement of fact, which you’ll need to sign and have witnessed before submitting it to the court. The person making the application must do this unless you are applying together. Joint applications will require both applicants to submit an affidavit.
You’ll need to show how things are different now, that you’ve been living your own lives for at least 12 months, and why you’ve chosen to live together. The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia have specific guidelines for this that you may want to read over. The court registrar may confirm details at the divorce hearing, or may simply go on the details provided in your affidavit.
What about ending a de facto relationship while living under the same roof?
If you want to officially end your de facto relationship, you won’t need to go to the same lengths as if you were married—unless a property settlement is being negotiated.
After a divorce becomes official, you have a year to begin with property matters. With a de facto relationship, you’ll generally have two years from the date of separation to do this.
This can be further complicated if you’ve been living together. The official ‘separation date’ also sets the time limits for property settlement for the factors, and once again, you’ll need to write the facts onto an affidavit to ensure that the separation date is recognised.
Property settlement
Organising a property settlement while living separately under one roof can be challenging, but a structured approach helps. Couples often begin by outlining assets and debts and assessing individual contributions and future needs. Seeking legal advice early ensures that property division complies with the Family Law Act, while mediation can help resolve disagreements.
This process helps couples reach fair arrangements without court intervention, especially when children are involved. Finalising a property settlement, even while living under one roof, can provide clarity and a sense of closure, empowering each party to confidently move forward into the next chapter.
Government payments
Over 11 million Australians receive some form of Centrelink payment, and government agencies such as Services Australia will assess a couple’s relationship status to determine eligibility for Centrelink payments or child support.
Amounts received for government payments change in many cases for single or coupled individuals, so if you and your ex-partner still have the same address, it’s likely that you will be asked to provide proof of your separation to ensure you are paid the correct amount.
Child support while separated under one roof
If you and your ex-partner have chosen to live separate lives in the same home and have children, you’ll need to ensure that any child support agreements (whether through Services Australia or privately made) reflect your separation status.
Child support during separation under one roof is assessed based on the parents’ financial contributions toward raising the child, even though they continue to live together. In these cases, demonstrating financial independence is crucial, as each parent should ideally cover their own expenses and household costs separately. While parents share the same residence, they may still have distinct parenting routines and financial arrangements, which can impact child support calculations.
Government departments like Services Australia (Child Support Agency) will consider the separation as valid if there is clear evidence of separate living arrangements within the home, such as distinct finances, separate sleeping arrangements and minimal shared activities.
The Family Law Act & separation under one roof
In the Family Law Act 1975, the concept of separation, including living separately under one roof, is addressed in Section 49. This section outlines the requirements for a couple to be considered separated for the purpose of divorce, which is particularly relevant when the couple continues to live in the same home.
For a separation under one roof to be recognised, both parties must demonstrate that they have genuinely separated, even if they are living together. This can involve showing a breakdown of the relationship, such as a lack of emotional or physical intimacy and the intention to live separate lives, despite sharing a residence.
Additionally, the Family Law Act provides guidelines for property division, spousal maintenance, and parenting arrangements following separation. These principles apply equally to couples living under one roof, but it is often advisable to seek legal advice to ensure that the separation is properly documented and the parties’ rights and responsibilities are clear.
It’s important for individuals in such situations to seek legal advice tailored to their specific circumstances. The interpretation of the law and Centrelink policies can be complex, and professional guidance ensures that individuals understand their rights, obligations, and potential advantages or disadvantages associated with the separation under one roof arrangement. The Australian Government’s Social Security Guide provides clarity on how separation under one roof is determined.
Getting legal advice for separation under one roof
The separation process can be complex, and it’s essential to seek legal advice to ensure a fair and reasonable outcome. Seeking legal advice on property settlement, spousal maintenance, and child custody arrangements can give you a better idea of what to expect.
Please get in touch with our team if you require advice or assistance.
Managing the practical and emotional challenges of separation under one roof
Separation under one roof can be emotionally challenging, and it’s essential to prioritise self-care and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Couples can also consider counselling or mediation to manage conflicts and communicate effectively during the separation process. Seeking legal advice early can help navigate the separation process and ensure a smooth transition to a new living arrangement.
Benefits of living separated under one roof
For some couples, staying in the same home while separated offers unique advantages that can ease the transition to living single lives, including:
- Reduced financial pressure by avoiding the cost of setting up two households.
- Easier to co-parent and maintain consistency for children in a familiar environment.
- Opportunity to save money and manage separate finances more effectively.
- Gives each person time to adjust emotionally without the added stress of relocation.
- Avoids the disruption of moving, making the separation process smoother.
Living separately under one roof may not be suitable for everyone, but it can offer financial and emotional benefits, especially when both parties can work together respectfully.
Creating healthy boundaries when living with your former spouse or partner
Considering the following steps can help you and your ex-partner transition to your new roles while still living together.
- Plan your living arrangements – where each person will sleep, if you are dividing household chores and how meal times etc will work going forward;
- Create a budget – to prevent future arguments; it is a good idea to set a budget around utilities, mortgage/rent, groceries, children’s activities and other school fees and any other household expenses;
- Discuss a parenting schedule – whether it be dividing the weekends, who will be taking the children to school, or their activities. Do not put the children in the middle or try to make them take sides; try it. True, the transition is as smooth as possible for them.
- Discuss future dating. Come to a mutual understanding about dating new people. Be honest with each other and make a plan that is respectful of you.
- Ensure you both have emotional support that extends beyond your former partner.
Protecting your privacy while being separated under the same roof
Even if you and your ex-partner have a generally amicable relationship, it’s important to be mindful of your privacy if you are living separately under one roof. The following steps are a good starting place to ensure your privacy is maintained.
- Change all passwords to your phone, email address, social media accounts and internet banking
- Ensure that if you are receiving any legal advice, you take the call in private, whether it be when no one else is home, in your car, or even leaving the family home for the time of the meeting
- Ensure the safety of all your important personal documents such as your birth certificate, passport, insurance documents
Understanding the legal and social aspects of living under one roof after separation is crucial, as it can have significant implications for your relationship status, financial arrangements, and future legal proceedings.
Co-parenting while separated under one roof
If you and your ex-partner are living together and parenting, it’s important to have some boundaries in place for everyone’s wellbeing. You can apply for interim parenting orders or create a parenting plan while living together.
- Establish physical and emotional boundaries to ensure each parent has their own space and time.
- Keep conversations focused on the children and avoid discussing past relationship issues.
- Create a consistent schedule for your children, including meal times, bedtimes, and activities.
- Support each other’s parenting decisions and avoid undermining one another in front of the children.
- Minimise conflict and work together to create a peaceful atmosphere in the home.
- Discuss how to manage household expenses and child-related costs to avoid misunderstandings.
- Consider family counselling or mediation if needed to assist with co-parenting challenges.
It’s also important to mutually decide whether to tell your children that you have separated. This is a personal decision that may depend on their age and ability to understand the situation.
Do we need to tell our children?
Yes, it is important to tell your children about the separation, even if you are living under one roof, but when you choose to do this will vary based on your personal circumstance. Children need to understand what is happening in a way that is appropriate for their age and emotional maturity.
Providing clear and honest information helps them feel secure and reduces confusion. The key is to reassure them that both parents still love and care for them and that the separation is not their fault. How and when you tell them depends on the circumstances, but it’s crucial to approach the conversation together, if possible, to present a united front.
What happens if we get back together while we are separated under one roof?
If a couple reconciles briefly while separated under one roof, the separation period may not need to start over, provided the reconciliation lasts three months or less. Australian family law allows couples to add up separated periods around a short-lived reunion to meet the continuous 12-month separation requirement for divorce. For example, if a couple was separated for eight months, reconciled for two months, and then separated again, they would only need four more months of separation to meet the 12-month requirement.
However, if the reconciliation exceeds three months, the separation period typically resets, requiring a new 12-month period. Financially, if a couple’s separation status changes due to reconciliation, government benefits or child support arrangements may be reassessed, and it’s advisable to notify relevant agencies of any changes in relationship status.
Is separation under one roof right for you?
If you and your ex-partner can share a home with a reasonable level of trust and respect for each other’s space or have an amicable split, being separated under one roof may be a suitable option for you, and can offer financial, emotional and practical benefits. This arrangement can help minimise disruption for children and provide a stable environment during the separation process.
However, if there are issues of family violence, a high level of conflict, or any other factors that create tension, discomfort, or safety concerns, separation under one roof is likely not the right choice. In such cases, it’s crucial to prioritise your emotional and physical well-being by considering alternative living arrangements. Seeking legal advice and support through family mediation can help you explore the best options for a peaceful and fair separation.
Tips for successfully separating under one roof
Successfully separating under one roof requires careful planning, communication, and respect to ensure a smooth transition.
Tips for successfully separating under one roof
- Establish clear boundaries for privacy, personal space, and time to avoid conflict.
- Maintain open and respectful communication about responsibilities and expectations during the separation.
- Create separate financial arrangements and handle individual expenses to demonstrate financial independence.
- Keep daily routines for the children as consistent as possible to minimise disruption.
- Avoid romantic or intimate interactions to ensure the separation is clear and respected by all parties.
- Consider using a co-parenting schedule to divide responsibilities and maintain clarity in parenting roles.
- Document the separation, including any agreements about living arrangements or finances, for future reference.
- Seek legal advice to understand your rights and obligations, especially regarding property division and child support.
By following these tips and seeking professional guidance, separating under one roof can be managed respectfully.
Separation under one roof can be a complex and sensitive issue, but with the right guidance and support, couples can navigate the separation process and achieve a fair and reasonable outcome. Seeking legal advice early is crucial to ensure a smooth and amicable separation process and to protect individual rights and interests. By understanding the challenges and solutions of separation under one roof, couples can make informed decisions and move forward with confidence.
This is general advice only. Pearsons Family Lawyers has a team of specialist family lawyers who can provide timely and accurate advice on all matters that need to be dealt with following a separation, including how to effectively be separated under one roof and dealing with parenting and property matters. To arrange your free initial consultation, contact us today on 1300 699 688 and “know where you stand.”
